It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world!! ER STYLE!
by baby jen
Summary: New chapter up! What happens when the ER staff find a treasure map-and embark on a little treasure hunt of their own?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: My therapist and I have come to realise that I do not own the ER chracters. With continued therapy  
I am sure I will also come to accept that they are indeed fictional!!!!!!!!! (Hey, baby steps!!)  
  
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It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world!!!  
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"MARK! we got a hit and run comin' in-ETA 5 mins!!"  
  
"Alright places people, Haleh set up an IV, Lydia I want 4 units of O-neg on hand, Carter, Dave cover the board, Randi  
page surgery for a consult and Chen you're with me. Malik Yosh-you too. Let's do this people."  
  
5 minutes later the unfortunate victim pulls into the ER.  
  
"OK-his BP is low his blood pressure is falling let's transfuse. Get X-rays and a CT scan...."  
  
"W-WAIT, Doc I'm not gonna make it." croaked the patient. "I can tell-b-but listen...."  
  
"Sir-we are going to...."  
  
"Just listen! T-take th-this!!!." The patient hands Mark a piece of paper before crashing.  
  
"HE'S CRASHING, CRASH CARTS-CHARGE TO 50!!!"  
  
For 20 minutes the doc vigilantly tried to bring the poor patient back before finally calling his death at 2.30pm.  
  
"Damn!" swore Mark.  
  
"Hey Mark-it happens. Hey-what's that piece of paper you're holding?" enquired Carter.  
  
"Huh? " replied MArk as he remembered that the patient had handed him something before crashing.  
  
He looked over it before exclaiming: "Why-it's some sort of treasure map!!"  
  
Carter came over intrigued.   
  
"What? Are you serious? You sure it's not just a gag?"  
  
"No-it looks legit. Damn-it says here that there's a treasure chest containg $10,000,000. X seems to mark the spot  
but there's no place names. Just a little poem." said Mark.  
  
"Wo-ah-what's it say?" asked Carter becoming more excited as Mark read out the poem.  
  
"A treasure of millions,  
To thee I bequeath,  
But where is it hidden?  
Somewhere underneath,  
The resting place,  
Where contradiction shall dwell,  
For this is where Heaven,  
Has met up with Hell."  
  
"WOW-OK so that must be a clue as to where the treasure is!!!! MArk we have to find it!!!!!!"  
  
"I'm calling a staff meeting! We got more chance of finding it if we all try."  
  
"Good idea!"  
  
5 minutes later all the ER staff and their affiliates are gathered round the admit desk as Carter and Mark lay out  
the plans. The room was buzzing with anticipation-I mean $10,000,000!!  
  
"OK people, We got $10,000,000 to find and only a very vague looking poem offering any clues. Copies are being handed   
round now." says Mark authoritatively.  
  
"To spread and cover more ground we're all being split into groups. To make it fair the names  
were taken out of a hat." Mark continues. "Which I shall now read out. "  
  
He clears his throat and begins to read.  
  
"OK-Team 1 comprises of myself, Haleh, Dave and Luka.  
  
Team 2: Elizabeth, Lydia, Romanno and Malik.  
  
Team 3 consists of Abby, Susan, Chen and Carter..."  
  
*Oh crap!* thinks Carter.  
  
" Team 4: Peter, Yosh, Chuny and Cleo.   
  
And finally Team 5: Kerry, Kim, Conni and Randi.  
  
Remember we are to spread out and cover as much ground as possible.  
Any questions?" finished Mark.  
  
"Uh...yeah" replied Carter meekly. "Can I switch teams?"  
  
"No-that all? Good-Now get to work!!"  
  
With that the 5 teams set off on their various expeditions-in search of treasure.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Do I continue? Baby Jen XX 


	2. Part 2

Part 2.  
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Carter, Deb, Susan and Abby are riding along in a cement mixer (it seems the car rental was out of cars!!) trying  
to think of all the possible locations that could possibly fit the description mentioned on the treasure map.  
  
"Hey-Carter, the map says it's burried where Heaven meets up with Hell right?" asks Susan.  
  
"ye-ah" replied Carter trying to avoid the wierd looks he was recieving from the other motarists as he steered the cement mixer.  
  
"Well don't you and Abby often meet up in Doc Magoos to talk over your recovery?" replies Susan.  
  
"ye-ah"  
  
"Well-maybe it's under Docs. I mean you do meet up with Abby. And if she isn't the witch form hell then I dont know   
who is..."  
  
"Hey!! Watch it blondie!!" snarls Abby! "Or should I say little miss FAKE blondie!! And besides for that matter  
who's to say it's not at YOUR apartment where YOU meet up with Carter, little miss hell cat!"  
  
"That does is sister, you and me-outside!!" retorts Susan.  
  
"Oh for srying out loud!!" moans Deb "Will you two act like adults and stop whining like a couple of jealous  
teenagers fighting over por Carter!?"  
  
Abby turns red and stops pulling Susan's hair as Susan apologetically returns Abby's shoe.  
  
"Besides." mutters Deb. " He clearly likes me better than you two anyways!!"  
  
"That does it!!" scream Abby and Susan as they begin to pummel Deb as best they can without falling off the cement truck.  
  
"oh man!!" whines Carter "I'm not sure this is worth $10,000,000. What else could go wrong?"  
  
Just then the cement mixer stutters and runs out of gas.  
  
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Meanwhile, Mark, Haleh, Dave and Luka are riding along on Horse back. (yup-that damned car rental place again!!)  
  
"Hey!!!! I've got it!! iT'S BURRIED WHERE hEAVEN MEETS hELL RIGHT?"Screams Malucci excitedly.  
  
"yeah-so?" asks Mark.  
  
"WELL THEN, it must be burried near that Hell's Angels Hang out. You know, the biker bar?"  
  
"You know Mark-maybe he's right!" says Haleh.  
  
"Well, for $10,000,000 it's certainly worth a try." sighs Mark.  
  
Luka shakes his head. "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" he moans as they set off for the bar.  
  
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Peter, Yosh, Chuny and Cleo, meanwhile, have also not managed to find a car. And this is their first concern.  
  
"Peter-why the hell are we wasting our time going to a police auction when there's $10,000,000 out there?"  
  
"I told you Cleo-it's a big city, if we stand any chance of finding it we're gonna need a way of getting around.  
And what with Carter's lot nabbing the cement mixer and Mark's crew getting the last available horses this  
police auction seems like as cost effective way to get our hands on a set of wheels. Or hooves I guess."  
  
"Whatever-let's just get on with it." snaps back Cleo.  
  
"She's ever so hostile isn't she?" sign Yosh to Chuny who nods in agreement.  
  
"Shut up!!" shrieks Cleo.  
  
Finally the four reach the police auction just in time to bid on the last vehicle.  
  
20 minutes later they emerge, the proud new owners of a big....yellow school bus!!  
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While all this is taking place, Elizabeth, Lydia, Romanno and Malik have pooled in to get their own set of wheels.  
  
They hired a limo.  
  
"Well well, Elizabeth. Here we at last where we should be. Together in the the back seat!!" said Romanno  
  
"Oh Robert do shut up-and remember I'm a married Woman!"  
  
"Yeah yeah-whatever. Though I must say whenever I'd fantasised about this moment I didn't think we'd be sharing it with  
an pensioner and a line backer!"  
  
"HEY!!" screamed Lydia and Malik in protest as Romanno simply laughed.  
  
"Do shush now, all of you!! We should be thinking about where to go! Please do remember there are $10,000,000  
to be found."  
  
"Now that's where I have problems." exclaims Romanno.  
  
"What-what are talking about" fumes a now exhasperated Lizzie.  
  
"Well supposing we DO find the money. Why should we share it equally with the other losers who were ultimately  
no help in finding it?"  
  
"Oh Robert do keep quiet." snaps Elizabeth.  
  
"No man-the dude's talkin' sense, carry on Doc!" interrupts Malik.  
  
"There's a smart man! Yes as I was saying. Who's to stop us say...sharing out half of the money between everyone else and   
then keeping the other half between us! I mean we could just say that's all there was when we found it! "  
  
"Oh for Heaven's sake -why should they believe that?" asks Lydia.  
  
"Hey! who's gonna tell 'em otherwise? The dead guy? Pu-lease!" laughs Romano.  
  
"DUDE-I AM SO ON BOARD!!" screams Malik enthusiastically.  
  
"OK-so we're all in on it togther right! Now let's just make sure WE are the ones who find it first..."  
  
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Finally, the team of Kerry, Kim, Conni and Randi (who 'borrowed' an ambulance by the way) are diligently  
patrolling the city trying to find an area that fit's Heaven/Hell description.   
  
"Are we there yet?" whines Randi while chewing on some gum.  
  
"NO!!!!!!!!!" scream back the other three for the 100th time.  
  
"How can we be there yet-we don't know where we're going!!" says Kerry as shakes a fist at another  
car that cut her off.  
  
"WAIT A MINUTE! I think I know where it might be!!" rejoices Kim.  
  
"Where?" ask the other three eagerly.  
  
"YOu ever hear of the lesbain night club, 'Heavenly Hell'...?"  
  
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[narrator voice:]  
  
-Will Kerry, Kim, Conni and Randi find treasure at the Lesbian Night Club?  
-Will Mark, MAlucci, Luka and Haleh be able to pass off as Hells Angels?  
-Will Elizabeth, Lydia, Romanno and Malik be able to pull off their little scam?  
-Will Peter, Yosh, and Chuny find the treasure bfore contracting frost bite from being couped up on a bus with Cleo?  
-Will Carter fix the cement truck before Abby, Susan, and Deb claw eachother's eyes out?  
  
All will be revealed in the next chapter of It's a mad, mad, mad mad world.  
  
(THat is if you want it to be revealed?)  
  
Baby jen xx 


End file.
